Thursday, April 7, 2011


I'm about to delve into a topic that could be controversial, but what isn't nowadays?

Until very recently, I always bathed Lucas in our upstairs bathtub, without incident. He loved tubbie time. He splashed and laughed and enjoyed every minute of it. Until one day he got sick, at the same time that I was back and forth to the hospital with my grandmother. Something changed his attitude toward tubbies. I'm not sure if it was pain due to an ear infection, or a developmental thing that came with age, or if he was just mad at me for not being around as much that week. What I do know is that the next bath-time was brutal. He kicked and screamed and cried, and his Auntie told me that it was much of the same with him at her house.

I was at a loss. I tried to dial back the number of baths per week, in an effort to save my sanity. It didn't seem to help. One night, while John was at work, I decided I would try to co-shower. We are fortunate to have a standing shower in our downstairs bathroom, so it was perfect. I decided that I wouldn't push the experience either. I decided I would get Lucas undressed, bring him in the bathroom with me, and I would shower. If we wanted to come in, great. If he didn't, that's fine.

Well, first he peed on the floor. The carpeted bathroom floor (don't get me started, that's a post for another day). But eventually he would skip from the door to the shower door (a whopping 5-6 feet). Then he dipped a toe. Then he dipped a whole foot. Soon he was standing in there with me for a few seconds, and starting over. And then he decided to poop on the shower floor, which promptly ended our first co-showering experience. There I was soaking wet, naked, trying to wrangle a baby into a towel, clean up a poop, all while avoiding the wet pee spot on the floor, and staying warm. I wanted to give up.

But the next day Lucas peed through his diaper/pants and it got on me and I hadn't showered yet. So I decided to give it another shot. He walked right into the shower, and even let me shut the door, and he loved it. He let me wash his body and his hair without a hassle. I am now a firm believer in co-showering, and I'm actually upset that I didn't start this earlier.

I won't lie, the first couple showers were a little strange. I had body issues, so having Lucas poke at me, and stare at parts he'd never seen was a little odd. He grabbed a handful of mom-boob and yelled "belly!". I could have died. Then I realized that...ummm, hello Nicole, you gave birth to this child. He's not judging you, he's curious because you're naked! So after I got over my stupid insecurity, and he got his curiosity out of his system, it's been wonderful. And to me, it feels totally natural.

At some point I do realize that it won't be very appropriate to shower with Lucas, or to allow him to shower with me. I just wonder when I'll feel that it's been too long. I remember showering with my mother, but I am a girl. I don't have any memories of showering with my father. I don't think I ever did.

Now I wonder, how many of my friends out there co-shower with their children? When did you/When do you plan to stop?

1 comment:

  1. Hi

    We have been showering and bathing with Sierra since she was about four or five months old. I wish we had done it from birth. It is the easiest way to get her clean and also the way that includes the least amount of screaming. I assume I will stop bathing with her sooner than stopping showers as at some point we will run out of room. As far as showering goes, I imagine I will continue showering with her until she no longer wants to shower together. I see no problem with it and don't think it's weird at all, though I know many people do. I love bathing with her! It always reminds me of taking baths while I was pregnant and watching her twist around in the water and crawl over me makes me think of the way she twisted and turned in my belly <3

    Love the post, <333