Wednesday, September 9, 2009


Girl's night was a total success. I had a blast, as did Heather. I thought about Lucas & John, obviously, but I really let loose and enjoyed myself. Danced alone (and with my "wing-man" chuck...) all night. Perfect. I really feel like I'm coming into my own.
I painted a picture for Lucas' playroom. It's nothing special, required no talent. Bold shapes in bold colors that coordinate with the room. I love it, I'm going to make more.
I need to get back into photography. I miss it. I would love to really learn about it. I'm going to re-try to read the exposure book Heather let me borrow ages ago.
I also want to start scrapbooking again. I think Heather & I will have more SB parties in the winter bc there really is nothing better to do.
I need to start writing that letter I want to write. Oh I haven't mentioned it? Well, I had this idea while I was pregnant that on each of my wedding anniversaries, or close to them, I would write a series of letters. 1 to John, recapping the year and thanking him for making me so happy. 1 for each of my children doing the same. I'm going to make each of the kids' letters into a book and give it to them on their first wedding anniversaries. I plan to read a letter at each of their weddings too.
I heard back from SF. Well... not really. I myspaced them, and heard back from Dillon, who takes care of the site and he put me in touch with Jarrod (drummer) via his e-mail address. I e-mailed him today. Hopefully that will work out, TR deserves a good fun show/party when he gets home. Although he's still on active duty for a few years, I feel like this first deployment is crucial. I need him to know that he's missed and loved while he's away. I need to thank him for being the best dude friend ever. I don't have a lot of those. Dudes only wanted one thing from me all my life, and most of the time I was stupid enough to give it to them. TR was never about that. Granted we had our moments, but that was not what it was about. Never was. I miss him, and love him more than words can express. He's 2nd only to John & Lucas for top dude. I just wish he knew it.
Though I'm working hard to find myself, I'm really enjoying this new motherhood thing. I melt everytime that baby looks at me. When he smiles and giggles, I'm mush. I can't function. My priorities have totally shifted - nothing in the world matters when that baby is in my arms. I could cry everytime I look at him. I've never felt such pure & honest love instantly. There is no "falling" in love with a baby. It just is there from the minute you find out you're pregnant and it grows. Oh man does it grow. It's out of control.
Alright, I'm going to work on letter #1 now.