Friday, November 12, 2010

Re: My Son is Gay by Nerdy Apple Bottom

If you haven't read "my son is gay" @ Nerdy Apple Bottom you are likely living under a rock. However, you'll need to read it now, so you can follow what I'm about to say.

If you're too lazy for the link, story boils down to this: A 6 year old boy dresses as Daphne from Scooby Doo for Halloween, Mom supports his decision, and other Mom begin giving them a hard time at school.

I've always said that if I had a homosexual child I would be 100% supportive. I couldn't understand how parents could be upset with their children for something that is not, in my opinion, a decision. Now that I have a son, I can't say I feel the same way that I did before. Now, I completely am baffled by it, but I'm downright offended by it. How can you have a child in this world and not love him/her to pieces, just as you have received him/her??? Sexual preference, in my opinion, is not really a "preference" at all. Preference implies that is a choice. Why would anyone CHOOSE to put themselves through the pain that society inflicts on anyone that is "different". And furthermore, how can anyone deny their support to their own child?? Ugh it infuriates me - but I'm getting off topic.

I lived in this happy world, ok call it delusional, where I thought: "Hey, I live in Massachusetts. We are super liberal here, sexism and gay bashing is super uncommon here. No one would bat an eyelash if that (Scooby costume) happened here." HA!! SO wrong... I learned this lesson quite a few times over this past week.

You see, my son, Lucas, has taken a strong liking to baby dolls lately. Now, we don't have any in our house because, well I honestly never thought about having one for a boy. But, I nanny for a set of boy-girl twins and when they were born they got American Girl Bitty Twins for their birthday. Lucas LOVES the little boys' doll. He carries it around, kisses it, tries to change it's clothes, puts it in the stroller. It's heartbreakingly adorable. Seriously. Painful. He has such a strong paternal instinct, it's unreal. I mean, the boy even hold the doll up on his shoulder, and pats it's bum!! Exactly what I do when Lucas is upset. It's amazing. It's awe inspiring, and I LOVE every minute of it... cue the "haters".

First, it was my boss' Realtor. She walks in to pick up some paper work, and sees him with the doll and says "Don't worry, they grow out of that... it doesn't mean anything...", to which my best on-the-spot response was "I certainly hope he doesn't out grow this. He's going to be a wonderful Daddy to some lucky child someday". I brushed that experience off, telling myself that she was from an older generation. It wasn't her fault...

Then I went to Toys R Us with my mom today, with the specific purpose of finding Lucas a doll for Christmas. HOLY CRAP... the looks we got from the other women in that store, you would have thought I was shopping for a weapon of mass destruction to give my toddler. Seriously. It was unbelievable. Eyes were rolling all over that place, and the "hmpphhhs" were unreal.

The only thing this experience has done is cemented my decision. I WILL be buying Lucas that doll for Christmas. And a shopping cart. And anything else that fosters positive self esteem. And if all these angry women are right, and he ends up being gay, I won't be upset. I won't feel guilty. I will love him just the same. He will ALWAYS be my son. I will always love him. I will always support him. If he wants to live the rest of his life with a man who makes him happy, who am I to tell him that's wrong? That's how I intend to spend the rest of my life; with the man I love. Love is love. And that is one thing I will NEVER deny to my children. Ever.


  1. I read the article, too. It struck such a chord with me! Great post. Love is love. No two ways about it. It is so sad how ignorant our society can be.

  2. OMG THIS is EXACTLY what I meant in my blog post today!!! it amaaaazes me that SO many people STILL think it's weird to give your son a doll. It can only make for better Fathers! giving your son a doll won't "make him gay", if he's gay, he's gay! people make me so mad when it comes to this... hello it's 2011! let's raise some compassionate, loving, nurturing, paternal boys!